


His Joker

by drwhorose



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 19:48:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7477560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drwhorose/pseuds/drwhorose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're injured." Batman acknowledged, his deep voice slowly losing its aggression.</p><p>Joker held up a hand and scoffed. "Nothing too serious."</p><p>---A brief Batman/Joker oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	His Joker

**Author's Note:**

> A drabble that came to mind after first hearing about Suicide Squad some time ago. I finally decided to post it. My headcanon is Kevin Conroy's voice as Batman and Heath Ledger as Joker, but feel free to imagine the characters as you choose.

It had been a slow night, not much for the Dark Knight to do. He had heard there was a new gang of criminals in Gotham this past week, hired out by a powerful woman to go after the dangerous and criminally insane. Batman had no desire to meet this group, but he had to admit he appreciated not being the only one in Gotham trying to clean up the filth of the streets. Yet it made for a boring Friday night.

Before Batman decided to call it a night, he spotted one of his own dangerous and insane criminals. He was limping slightly and his right hand was pressed above his hip. Even in the dark and with a limp, Batman would recognize that walk anywhere. 

"Joker." Batman's deep growl interrupted the silence of the night. He heard a soft chuckle as the purple clad man stopped in his tracks.

"Why, hello there." Joker turned around and grinned at Batman. He always looked pleased to see the Bat.

Batman studied the Joker, quickly trying to determine the extent of his injuries while also wondering who had been the cause. Joker's hand slid from his side and Batman saw a trail of blood where his green dress shirt had been torn.

"You're injured." Batman acknowledged, his deep voice slowly losing its aggression.

Joker held up a hand and scoffed. "Nothing too serious."

"You're bleeding quite a bit." Batman observed, as he noticed the blood on Joker's right hand, could nearly smell the copper in the approaching darkness of night. "What happened? Who did you piss off this time?"

Joker laughed. "It was a group of them...they looked pretty deranged if you ask me. I gave them a good run. I know this city much better than they do. It's quite easy to, uh, slip away."

Batman nodded in understanding. "I know about that group." He responded with a sneer. Batman surprised himself, feeling offended that the squad was chasing after his criminal, his Joker. "They managed to hit you though."

"Well, they had guns, and I only had knives. Not a fair fight really. Well, actually I did have a gun. That's how they lost me. I shot a little too close for comfort. Their bullet only grazed me. See?"

Joker lifted his green button down shirt slightly to show Batman his injury. Batman noticed that Joker looked more human with his skin exposed, blood dripping from his superficial wound.

"You need stitches." Batman took a cautious step closer to Joker.

"Oh, no, no, no, and then you will lock me up in Arkham. Not happening. I've had enough excitement tonight. I want to sleep in my own bed, Batman." Joker giggled almost uncontrollably at his dramatic little speech. "I don't have a bed, heh."

Batman rolled his eyes. "I won't send you to Arkham tonight. You have my word."

Joker clapped his hands together and grinned. "Oh, goodie."

"You should lie down for this." Batman suggested.

Joker raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "Really?"

"Yes, you need to be flat so I can stitch you up. Just do it." Batman pointed to an empty bench in a nearby desolate park.

Joker smirked and then stretched out on the bench. "Such a bossy Bat."

"Do you want me to stitch you or what?"

Joker blew a kiss at Batman. "Stitch me, Batman."

Batman let out an annoyed sigh. "Hold still." He lifted Joker's emerald silk shirt, rolling it up to expose his stomach. His body was lean and firm with muscles and his skin was not as pale as his makeup would suggest, more surprises for Batman. He took gauze from his belt and cleaned the blood. He looked over at Joker, who was staring into the night sky. He pressed the gauze into the wound to apply pressure. Joker winced and let out a slight moan. Batman took the needle and pierced his skin cautiously. Joker seemed to be holding his breath. 

"Keep breathing, or you'll pass out." Batman warned as he turned on a flashlight and then began to stitch. Joker exhaled and directed his green eyed gaze to Batman. He watched Batman work meticulously to stitch his small wound together. Batman's offer of help continued to puzzle him as he tried not to focus on the disconcerting feeling of the needle entering and exiting his skin. It was almost frightening to be vulnerable on the bench with his body exposed to a man so powerful and strong, and Joker did not scare easily. For all he knew, Batman would knock him out with one punch to the face and drag him to Arkham. As thrilling as a fight would be, he did not wish to be trapped in a cage. Yet, Batman had given his word, and he appeared to be oddly concerned for his wellbeing.

"Now keep those stitches in for a few days. If you pull them out too soon, you'll start bleeding all over again." Batman stood up from his kneeling position when he had finished.

Joker touched the stitches and smiled as he stroked his fingers over the wound. "Nice. You could have been an ER doc or something."

Batman stifled a laugh at Joker's odd quirks as the clown traced the stitches with his long fingers. "I've had a lot of practice." He returned the supplies to his belt.

Joker sat up on the bench as he pulled down his ruined shirt. He let out a quiet sigh. 

Batman looked at Joker's legs. "You were limping. What happened there?"

Joker shrugged his shoulders. "Twisted my ankle when they shot at me. The swelling eventually goes down. This ain't my first rodeo, Bat." Joker looked into Batman's eyes, trying to determine if his concern was real or contrived.

"You should ice it." Batman suggested, looking away to break the electricity of their eye contact.

Joker scoffed. "No need. I have a high tolerance for pain, or should I say pain makes me feel high...alive."

Batman shook his head. "And you don't want to return to Arkham?"

Joker's eyes narrowed. "No." He growled. "I'm not as crazy as half the people in there."

Batman let out a chuckle. "You're not crazy, ok."

"I'm not. I'm quite sane. I just don't fit into society. Doesn't make me crazy. I think you can relate to that- a man who dresses like a bat to fight crime."

Batman took a seat on the bench next to Joker, feeling mildly angry that Joker had a point. But Joker was an insane killer, whether the clown wanted to believe it or not. "Don't make me regret stitching you up." 

Joker patted Batman on the shoulder. "Oh, was it something I said?" He asked mockingly.

Batman slid away from Joker and stood up again. "Don't touch me."

Joker grinned. "My apologies." 

Batman took Joker by the neck and squeezed tightly with his large gloved hands. "I won't send you to Arkham tonight, but I make no promises for any other night. Or maybe I'll let the suicide squad finish the job next time, so help me."

Joker gasped when Batman let go. He coughed and choked and tried to hold back a smile. He knew better than to confess that he loved feeling Batman's strong hands around his throat.

"Well, thank you for a magical Friday night." He moved faster than Batman could have predicted. Joker pressed a quick kiss to the corner of Batman's lips. Before Batman could react, Joker was hobbling down the street, quickly despite the limp, laughing endlessly.

Batman had been caught off guard by the warmth of Joker's lips against his face. He had expected his lips to be as cold as they looked. He still didn't know why he had helped Joker, why he had taken care of his injury, why he had not dragged him to Arkham, but he did wonder where Joker would sleep tonight, the crazy clown without a bed. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it. The last time I wrote a Batman/Joker fic was eight years ago, and it was fun to revisit these characters.


End file.
